Looking for THE life partner

In the days bygone, it was simply taken for granted that partners in a marriage would live the major portion of their lives together, lasting more than several decades in most cases.  Make no mistake, the life partner may not necessarily be the better half, either way, but still marriages lasted relatively for a longer period. This is not to assume that marital coexistence were without problems.

Looking for a life partner was perhaps a lot easier in the olden days what with lesser expectations and a lot more of optimism. It was assumed that marriages were meant to and would last until the ultimate parting. ‘I Do’s were taken more seriously at their face value and with all earnestness. Talking about olden times with fondness may appear to be old fashioned; I believe it is just the opposite. Sensible and practical suggestions sometimes appear to be old fashioned.

Going into a marriage with huge expectations and unrealistic dreams is a recipe for disaster. One should learn to expect with realism.  Let’s be clear. No marital relationship has ever been without its hiccups, challenges or roadblocks to conquer. It is not always a bed of roses. This has been true in the past, in the present and for all times to come, conceivably. Only the unwise and the eternal dreamer would think otherwise and of course be disappointed, if it were otherwise.

Any long term conjugal relationship is invariably a pleasure and pain all at the same time. It is something calling for compromise and accommodation if it has to last.

In fact, no two relationships can be perfectly compatible for all times to come. Relationships have to be manageable without undue stress and be reasonably compatible.

Let the accent be on both of these factors to a reasonable degree.

So give your thought to the following basic ‘Marriage Mantras’

Do not go into a marriage with great expectations; you may be disappointed; on the other hand, have minimal expectations, you may be pleasantly surprised

Know that Marriage is not all sex and just physical relationship; Sex is just one of the factors in a marriage, may be an important one at that, but bound to wear off more or less gradually depending upon the partners over a period of time; Do not worry, there are indeed other factors cementing a marriage, you will discover

Tolerance is the key to a marriage, though not a solution in itself; solution may lie in fixing issues not just once but continuously and consistently

Be alert to the need to fix issues then and there, expeditiously, if necessary with the help of a Professional Counselor

Shankar

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